Throughout the book, Whitfield talks heavily about integration. The main subject matter is about finding a way to reintegrate the parts of us that have been frozen at the time of trauma Only after we are aware of how those parts of us are trapped in automatic cycles of reactivity, can we begin to find a way to heal -- to embrace that stifled "child within" and bring that child back out to the world. Many of us, myself included, have lost the enchanted vision we once saw the world with.
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Throughout the book, Whitfield talks heavily about integration. The main subject matter is about finding a way to reintegrate the parts of us that have been frozen at the time of trauma Only after we are aware of how those parts of us are trapped in automatic cycles of reactivity, can we begin to find a way to heal -- to embrace that stifled "child within" and bring that child back out to the world.
Many of us, myself included, have lost the enchanted vision we once saw the world with. When the world became hostile so we became guarded. Being guarded means two things. You see, spirituality is of an inspired unity. In even the most dead and abstract concept, Spirit is a place for all of us together in harmony as a union.
And union is only possible if one is wholly present. We might think of presence as mindful awareness in the moment -- but this can only happen if we reclaim the parts of ourselves that are frozen in past trauma, so those parts of us do not keep pulling us back into past events that are no longer present even if we bring them into the present. Spirituality is being present because then our whole integrated self, including the parts of us that were as when we were new as children can come to the foreground and be present again, instead of reeling in hidden agendas, damaged by past events and unwilling to be okay with ourselves and others.
In his practice he has found how to get to the source of the trauma so as to unlock that which traps us. His metaphors are useful, and his language clear. In any situation, there is a wide spectrum of experience available -- the experience we take from a situation is in part, a reflection of how we have been deployed internally. As humans certain things such as being eaten are just bad. But in our civilized societies, most situations are complex and multivalent.
If we choose to see loss and pain instead of joy and opportunity then there is a reason We may forget why something bad happened but we do not forget how it made us feel when we behave in ways to avoid the feelings we carry with us, feelings we may normalize when we suppress the traumatic experience yet carry with us those resultant feelings. In this book, Becker claims that our personality is a product of how we deny death; how we avoid the pain of our existence.
Our character is how we step into the light or the dark. And so, with Whitfield, our character can be seen as a coping mechanism for pain, loss and uncertainty in the world. But since much of that cannot be removed; pain, loss and uncertainly are always with us -- so we either live with denial or we accept the uncertainty and instead choose to see the situation as it can benefit us, as a chance to play with the world and be alive in it, instead of fearing it and wanting to control it.
Whitfield is much more useful, personable as Whitfield is speaking to the child within us instead of to the mind looking for meaning -- Whitfield says we create meaning through how we relate to things. We can create meaning by relating to life through pain, or we can create meaning by relating life to joy. Life has an abundance of both. To really allow us to be as we are, we need to accept both in balance.
Only then when we are present and integrated, can we really face life in all its opportunities and be there, be present for the people we love in the situation we are in, instead of trying live in a past situation where we attempt to control in the present based in how the past turned out.
Whitfield, M. He has been on the faculty of the Rutgers University Summer Institute of Alcohol and Drug Studies from to , and in private practice of medicine and psychotherapy since He has been voted by his peers as one of the Best Doctors in America every year since He lives in Atlanta, GA. When this Child Within is not nurtured or allowed freedom of expression, a false or co-dependent self emerges. We begin to live our lives from a victim stance, and experience difficulties in resolving emotional traumas. The gradual accumulation of unfinished mental and emotional business can lead to chronic anxiety, fear, confusion, emptiness and unhappiness.
Healing the Child Within
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